


Corgis for Everyone!

by Hinn_Raven



Series: The Corgi AU [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Corgis, Crack, Dogs, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Resurrection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinn_Raven/pseuds/Hinn_Raven
Summary: Agent Texas is now the most badass Corgi to ever Corgi. And now, she’s got backup. The Freelancers, as Corgis.





	Corgis for Everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK!
> 
> Sorry for this major delay: my laptop died unexpectedly in early May, and it took _forever_ to get fixed. But I'm back! And there's fic! 
> 
> The Corgi Verse is now officially open for business: my plan is to just treat this like a drabble series, writing whatever strikes my fancy, being open to prompts and suggestions, and probably eventually adding every single character. We're starting with York, because, well, it's me. Anyways, keep an eye out for more, and if you've got a request, hit me up on tumblr!

The Temple of Second Chances, huh?

Well, Tex has some _opinions_ about that.

The first opinion is that the universe better not be making a judgement on her character, because she’s a bitch, sure, now more literally than ever, but Felix and Locus were _genocidal dickwads_ , and even at her worst, she was never like _that_.

Okay, maybe she’s got some things in common with Sharkface, but he tried to kill Carolina, and she never went _that_ far. (She doesn’t think about Connie.)

She sizes them up, and decides that, well, there’s only one thing to do about it.

Tex is pretty sure all that shit about wolves having “alphas” and shit is bullshit. And she’s always been more of a Beta.

But one thing is for sure, and that she is not just any bitch. She’s the _Queen_ Bitch. And she’s going to make sure that these mercenary dogs know who’s boss.

The second thing is that being a dog really isn’t so bad.

It’s pretty damn hard to fail as a dog. All you have to do is protect your people, wag your tail, and eat your food.

And the third opinion is… well.

If the universe is handing out second chances…

Church better be on the fucking list.

He deserves something good, even if it is life as a dog.

* * *

 

Here’s the thing about Midnight. She doesn’t get along with _anyone_. She doesn’t get along with Tiny, she _hates_ Trouble, Tic-Tac and her only get along when they’ve both decided Trouble needs to be stopped, and, in her defense, Terror _started_ the fight that ended up with half of the kitchen in shambles.

So when Carolina brings home the one-eyed Corgi mix named Lucky, she fully expects to have to get out the squirt bottle.

Instead, Midnight starts to wag her tail and bark excitedly.

“What, did you two know each other before?” Carolina asks, placing Lucky on the ground.

Midnight practically tackles Lucky, and the two of them begin to run in circles around each other, barking excitedly and tails wagging.

“Tex!” York says. “You’re here! You’re here!”

“Thank God,” Tex says. “I could use some backup here.”

Locus looks between the two of them, thinks about what he knows about Agent York and Agent Texas, which mostly involves Agent York losing an eye and a space ship crashing, and retreats to the safety of Kimball’s office.

* * *

 

York is pretty sure he was dead.

And now, he’s a dog.

Well, he’d say he’s had weirder experiences, but honestly, he’s probably lying.

But at least Tex is here, even if Dee isn’t.

And Carolina! And Wash!

York sincerely wishes the excitement was a product of being a corgi.

Tex brushes up against him, trying to get him to focus.

“Right, right. So uh, the guy with the flame thrower who we dropped a building on is the Labrador and we have to fight him to sleep in Carolina’s room?”

“Exactly.” Tex says.

“Can’t we just take turns?” Sharkface—apparently his name is Terry, and Carolina calls him Terror, but there’s no way York is going to pass on an opportunity to use _Sharkface_ on a day-to-day basis—complains. Tex is currently perching on top of his back, looking very smug.

“You tried to kill her, you lost all right to the bed,” Tex says sternly.

“Didn’t you try to kill the pink one?” York asks, unable to help himself.

“I don’t try to sleep in his bed,” Tex says smoothly.

“Does he not like dogs? Is he a cat person?”

“He is definitely not someone who I would think has a soft spot for pussy.”

York has nothing to say to that.

Locus and Felix are the other two dogs that are around, York learns, and Felix isn’t allowed to go near the one named Tucker, because of attempted murder. Locus is on “thin ice,” but Felix is “like Wyoming, but worse,” so York is under strict orders to ensure that Felix spends every day of their lives in the metaphorical doghouse.

That gets a lot easier when Caboose comes home with a sleek tabby cat with familiarly green eyes.

“Dee!”

“… York?”

“Mother _fuck_ ,” Felix says, three seconds before Tex knocks him off the sofa.

* * *

 

Sharkface, to be frank, is very tired of fighting with Texas.

Sure, she kind of tried to kill him, and definitely dropped a building on him, but somehow… the more time he spends as a dog, the less important all of that seems. 

All of the rage, the rage he’s spent so long stewing in, the anger and hurt he’d been cultivating for years… somehow, all of that is ebbing away. He bites and snarls and barks, but then someone pets him or he gets to go swimming or he gets to chase a ball, and it vanishes.

He’s not a fighting dog. He’s a Labrador and Corgi mix. He isn’t meant to put up a fight in this body. He’s not meant for this.

Fighting Texas wasn’t worth it when it was just her, and it’s certainly not worth it now that she has York and the Artificial Intelligence Delta to back her up. In cat form.

He doesn’t want to hurt her. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

To be frank, all he wants to do is to get to spend time with Carolina, who is the best at throwing the ball, and likes going for walks by the lake, and has a very nice bed. He likes others, sure, but she throws the ball _so far_. It’s really great.

But Texas doesn’t want him to spend time with Carolina, and makes him fight her for the right. And he can’t beat her. He’s not sure anyone can.

Well, maybe if he teamed up with Felix and Locus, and if something inconvenient happened to York and Delta. _Maybe_.

But the point is, he doesn’t _want_ to fight. He just wants to spend time with Carolina. And be a dog. He’s really enjoying being a dog.

He’s not entirely sure how he’s supposed to ask for a truce, however.

He decides that trapping Felix under a laundry basket is probably a good start, however.

Texas looks at him, and then looks at Felix, who is ramming himself against the walls of the basket, screaming incoherently, and bares her teeth in her version of a smile. Her tail wags lazily.

“Alright,” she says. “I guess we can work something out.”

“ _Traitor_!” Felix howls.

“I have some ideas,” Sharkface says, his own tail wagging in response.

Carolina comes into the living room that evening and sees Terror and Midnight and Lucky all curled up together, with Einstein the cat perched on top of Lucky, purring like a motor.

She squints. “When did this happen?”

Tucker shrugs, and takes a picture.

* * *

 

Kimball hears the very loud barking, recognizes it as Trouble, and immediately goes to investigate.

She doesn’t know what, exactly, she expected, but she has to admit, finding Trouble had managed to close himself inside an industrial washing machine and then someone had started it was not what she expected.

She slammed the stop button and let him out. He was covered in soap and disoriented, whining pitifully.

“Were you trying to nap on the clothes again?” She demands.

Trouble whines, pawing at her.

“You know you’re not supposed to go in there,” she scolds. Then she sighs. “You fell asleep and someone started it, didn’t they?”

He barks.

“Yeah, okay, let’s get you cleaned up,” she mutters, scooping him up, soap and all. He wiggles and squirms like he always does when he’s picked up, but she ignores him.

She _almost_ feels sorry enough for him not to kennel him that night but then she finds him trying to attack Lucky, so to the crate he goes.

She thinks that Lucky and Midnight look particularly smug that night when they pad after Carolina to go to bed, but she’s sure that’s just in her imagination.

“Vanessa! I was _framed_! They locked me in there! _Let me out of here_!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @secretlystephaniebrown on Tumblr! <3


End file.
